sorry for disappearing, I really didn't, but there have been times I may have thought about it, seriously... can't somebody invent a button to push?? you know, instead of the "in case of emergency, break glass" scenario, but in this instance.. "if you need to get the heck out of dodge, quick and nobody notice you were even gone" button. Dang.. I should have paid more attention in science class when we were building our end of the year science project. heck.. maybe I did invent that button, and I hit it and here I am ROFL..
I need to know when 8 year old girls (okay.. excuse me... 8 1/2 (that half is TERRIBLY important when you are 8) began dictating the household.
I think a spaceship has flown over my little pinpoint dot on a map location and sucked my family up and relocated us to another planet. Sucked up our house, school, same dirty car (yes the one with "wash me" still on it) from weeks ago.. wait.... you know now that I really think about it... maybe it wasn't my world they sucked up but it WAS her... YES Eastin they sucked up, my precious sweet baby girl that has always had a little spunk for being independent but THEY switched her with some master manipulator and evil Cruella soul that can cry with ever so little effort and stomp her feet like I can only imagine Shrek the Ogar does when lolligagging around the swamps after stepping upon a huge wad of chewed gum. Which.. while we are talking about swamps,... a SWAMP.. is what my precious 8.5 year Eastin's bathroom floor was because she/I butted heads about dirty laundry and both of us refused to pick it up so long that we no longer could see the ceramic tile and Miller decided he would get in the shower with Eastin (yes.. our 80 lb house dog aka.. walking shedding sweetest "gentle giant" great dane/boxer mix). Then after going in long enough to get totally soaked, he jumps out and does the "doggie shake" and then proceeds to root around her clothing to dry off his coat.
After I swear 7 loads of clothes (no wonder the child literally had NOTHING to wear) and for once she was telling the truth (oh yeah.. have I mentioned telling the truth is NOT a normal circumstance around here), the swamp exists no longer, I couldn't stand it but Cruella Shrek has yet to notice, how sad is that?? How can you NOT notice that you aren't standing on 6+ inches of dirty clothes when trying to brush your teeth?? But for all practical purposes, when I say to BRUSH your teeth, does that specifically mean to use a tooth brush or just swish some tooth paste around in the mouth and spit it back out?? As a Mother, I should know by now that if I don't go into full details, then I shouldn't get mad when a toothbrush isn't used because I didn't specify.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
oh.. I can't imagine what each new day will bring, which.. as my sister told me on several occasions when, in my mind, my world was YES actually coming to a end (one time which is SCREAMING IN MY LEFT BRAIN RIGHT NOW), I was going through post pardum and wanting to know why the fact that motherhood sucked so bad was NEVER mentioned to me) ... after 48 hours of NO sleep, a colicy baby, I was wearing cabbage leaves wrapped around me with an ace bandage and I was sitting on the back porch crying and Russ knew to leave well enough alone and let me sit outside with my cabbage smelling self and asking my sister to come over and help (okay.. that is another story but if you are from the South and you've had a baby.. you know where I'm going with the story), I cried to her telling her that I wished I could see the future. Her wise words of wisdom keep replaying in my mind "sometimes it is a blessing we cannot see the future".
At this moment, I'm counting my blessings
and if you happen to see my "old" Eastin, please tell her to jump the next spaceship back to home soon :) that we all miss her desperately.
